To Sam,

Hey Sam, I know I already wrote you a letter but there's more I wanted to say. It's been 6 months since you've passed on and it doesn't get easier. I miss you so much. Most nights I used to come and talk to you about my day or things that were bugging me. Still every time I look at the back patio, it's like I have to remind myself that you're not here anymore. I feel like no dog can ever replace you. You were very special. I hope you're running very happily up there in heaven. See ya around buddy

Love,

Ryan

My sweet Nova,

We've been through a lot together, haven't we? You were the first new face we welcomed into our apartment after losing our house, and you made the tiny place feel more like a home than anywhere else I've stayed.

Even through my darkest times, when I was deep in depression and couldn't help but wish my life away, you helped keep me grounded. My thoughts always circled back to, "If I die, will Nova think I abandoned him? Will he mourn for me just like I would him?" Seeing how you follow me around the house so close I almost trip over you daily, I think you'd miss me.

I'm looking at you right now, asleep in your hammock, and I know you aren't yourself. The doctors say your body is attacking it's own red blood cells, they told us you might not make it through the night. Well, you did, because we all know how stubborn you are. I slept on the kitchen floor with you because that's where you wanted to lay; you wouldn't let us move you to a bed. That's the last time I'll ever fall asleep with you by my side.

I'm sorry there isn't more we can do. We could get you those blood transfusions, but they would only prolong the inevitable, and you'd suffer because of it. What kind of life would that be, spending half your life at the hospital and still not being able to play and run like you want to?

I wish "I love you" was enough to save you, that it was some magic spell that would shove all the life back into your body so we could have more time, but it isn't. I can cry and wish all I want, but I'm not special, because death is the only experience all living things share. You proved just how alive you are when you jumped up on the shelf and knocked it right down onto my head. That hurt a lot, you know.

I feel like I've known you for longer that you've been alive. Four years doesn't seem like a lot, but you made it feel like a lifetime. In those four years, you changed me. Made me softer. I know when you're gone, when we leave the emergency center without you this evening, nothing's going to feel real. You'll still be with us, they say they have memorial boxes we can carry you in, but it won't be YOU. You aren't just the fur and the bones holding you together, you're the love and mischief and everything else you showed us. I don't want to imagine you without that.

I love you, Nova. You're my little buddy. I know we had some unsavory nicknames for you, and I'm sure you had your fair share of them for us too, but we turned all of those "impolite" words into terms of endearment. You made the boring life of an introverted, anxious highschool student something worthwhile. I'm confident in saying you're the funniest, most adoring cat I'll ever get to meet. Whatever afterlife there is better be kinder to you than our world was, because if it isn't, I'm tearing it all down to make a new one just for us when we meet again.

Love always,

Best Friend

My sweet Mabel,

I brought you home 1/29/14. You had just turned 2 on 12/1 shortly before being rescued from the puppy mill auction on 1/9. I saw you sweet little face and scared little eyes on Petfinder and I knew you had to be mine. My heart was still hurting after losing my first pup on 1/1 but as soon as I saw you, I knew we both had healing to do and we could do it together. You were so afraid at first, those first few days were tough, but quickly you realized I was safe, you could trust me. Over the last ten years, you have given me so much love and joy, more than I ever realized was possible. It wasn’t always easy, but to me you were perfect and I loved you so much. You were my snuggle bunny, my shadow, my daily dose of sass and laughter. We had almost ten years together but it doesn’t feel like enough. When you were diagnosed with heart valve disease 5/22/23, I thought we still had another year or two before I’d have to think about you leaving me. But that time came just four short months later. I think the stress of your rough start in life just wore down your sweet little heart. I hospitalized you twice, to try to get you back to where you were before the sudden change in symptoms. The first time you came home and seemed good as new! We got 6 days together living like nothing was wrong. And I spent as much hours of those 6 days with you as I possibly could. And then it happened again, you couldn’t breathe, your heart was failing yet again, so to the hospital you went a second time to try to get you back to where you were, with med adjustments to hopefully get more than just 6 more good days together. But when I brought you home the second time, it wasn’t the same as the first time. You were still struggling. We didn’t get any more good days. I gave us four more days together, waiting to see if you would improve, but you didn’t. I could tell you were struggling so hard and you looked so scared when you couldn’t get enough air. You had a cardiology scheduled just 3 days later. I desperately wanted to get you to that appointment on Friday. Maybe they could do something, come up with a new treatment plan to help you live comfortably a little while longer. But on Tuesday night, you were struggling so hard. My tears were flowing when I kissed your little head and I said okay, okay, I promise, I’ll make it stop. And I called the emergency hospital and said I think it’s time. She’s suffering. They agreed and shortly thereafter, I watched you drift off to sleep and I said goodbye as I kissed your head and felt your soft fur for the last time. I hope I did the right thing for you Mabel. I second guess everything now. Should I have tried harder? Should I have hospitalized you again to get you to that cardiology appointment? Could we have had more time together? Did I pull the plug too soon? I will never know the answers to those questions. All I knew was that I couldn’t bear to see you struggle one more day. I’m so sorry Mabel. I will love and miss you forever.

Love,

Rachel

My sweet Mesmer,

Your loss has rocked my world. My brain knows I made the right choice. You were tired and in pain. You were ready. And I’ll never be.

I spent your whole life loving you more than anything

I’ll spend the rest of mine missing you.

I will keep trying to heal and I promise to take care of your brother and sisters.

Love always,

Dad

My sweet Panda,

I will miss you and your green eyes you were and always be the most wonderful cat we ever had. I will always remember all the good times we had when you came to my bed one night kept on pawing me to open the door for you so you could pee. I will always treasure the special moments we had together. I’ll never forget the times we had when you let me hold you and care for you. Please always know I am sorry that you had to die alone. I sorry that no one was there to comfort you in the moments that you really needed the most I am so sorry that you had to suffer with all the pain that you had to deal with I will never forget that perfect bathroom picture you were in I deeply will miss you. And most of all your brother will miss you. Panda please don't forget us please. I will miss you a lot. I will always cherish you sitting by baby Jesus. you will not be forgotten by this family we all miss you and love you.

Love always,

Jacque

My sweet Panda,

My dear sweet boy, I remember the first time I saw you, you were so scared of the other people and the cats in your room. You swatted at me the first time I tried to touch you. I knew then that you were like me. Scared and afraid of what's to come. We picked you and your brother. When we got you home you flew under my bed too scared to come out. But then -after some time- let me love on you and care for you. You became my bestfriend when I lost mine, listened to me sing when nobody else wanted to, and even slept in my bed when I was afraid of thunderstorms. I remember the first time you spent the first christmas I had at my new home with me and my Foster mom. You were so excited to get your favorite treats, and a little less excited to have a little blue hat on your head. Oh, my sweet old boy I love you so much. You were my greatest happiness in sad times. And my greatest sadness in happy times. I think everytime I become happy "why? Why should I be happy?" The answer is simple. You wouldn't want me to be sad. Your beautiful gold eyes always lit up when I smiled or entered your room. I'm so sorry I didn't see you the day before you left. They wouldn't let me. I'm so sorry you had to die alone. But you are never alone now. You were once mine but now you are once again God's. I will always miss you my sweet baby.

Missing you,

Mama Angel

My sweet Rocky,

My little baby, thank you for coming into our lives. No matter how small the animal is Love is still love.

And the feelings we had for you were genuine.

Thank you

We wish you could have been here longer. We love you so deeply. I hope that we made your life Better.our hearts will hurt for you Always.

You're just the cutest sweetest little thing. And we're gonna miss having you around. To others you were just a Hamster but to us You were part of our family.

I wish we could have loved you longer. I know where ever you're at, you're roaming free.

And hope you will be waiting for us wherever you may be.

Please don't forge that, we love you so so so much. We love you Rocky and we miss you❤️‍🩹

9/5/23

Love,

Ashley

Dear Thumbalina,

I am sorry I didn’t know you had FeLV until it was too late. You are such a pretty kitty, in fact the most special animal I’ve ever had in my entire life.

You were so full of love, never bit anyone, except the lady who was force feeding you when we didn’t know what was wrong.

You were so full of life up until a week ago. You deserved so much better, yet even while I yelled “I don’t want you to die girl” non stop sobbing my eyes out you were drunk kitty walking to show me your strength and you were laying on me pushing your paws on my face to get my attention away from the fucking sadness.

I know you missed salem girl, I put you to rest with him outback where your brush I brushed you with until they put you down is buried so you can feel like a pretty kitty one more time. I hate the fucking world right now, I needed you still Thumbalina and you didn’t deserve to die like that.

Thank you for showing me what true strength is. Even with a hermacrit of 6, you were a walking fucking miracle. Especially because you held on for one more selfish night for me.

Rest easy pretty kitty. I don’t believe in the afterlife or religion much, if at all. But if there is an afterlife please be there to greet me on the other end of the kitty rainbow before they send me to burn in hell alone.

Love,

JJ

Sweet Navy,

it hasn't even been a week since you left. cancer was eating away at you and we had to stop the pain somehow – you couldn't get up to greet us, you couldn't walk, you couldn't play. seeing you like that has broken my heart. letting you go wasn't nearly as hard as watching how the disease took your life away so quickly.

your daddy is devastated. i am heartbroken and hurting. you meant so much to us.... we were a big pet family but you were the core. without you, everything has shifted, everything is unrecognizable. the coming weeks and months, we just have to get used to this new life without you in it – and it all seems hollow and sad.

you were kind, patient, calm, gentle, sensitive – and silly, playful, goofy, a grinning fool, romping through snow like a puppy, even with your bad hips. i love dogs and i've known many but you were a milestone. there will always be a "before" and "after" for our time together.

i cry still, but i don't want to. i want to forget the cancer and the last few weeks when we struggled to keep you comfortable. i want to remember the other eleven-and-a-half years that were the best in our lives. your daddy and i took you on road trips, bought a house, got married, adopted other dogs to keep you company, we built a humble little life with you. navy, you were so loved.

if there is a dog heaven, i know what you're doing.

you're collecting toys and sticks, you're off-leash and romping hard, you're throwing your weight into my lap with a heavy sigh, you're staying up until 2 a.m. at one of our dinner parties, you're waiting outside the dollarstore for me to bring out a stuffy toy for you, you're pulling my glove off my hand so you could carry it home for me, you're grinning at me from across the room, you're asleep with your tongue out, you're falling behind on our hikes, you're looking at me when i'm babbling to you, eyebrows furrowed, wanting desperately to understand. i was only ever saying i love you.

and you're sitting at the door, waiting to see us again.

Love,

mommy

Sweet Navy,

You started limping on a Saturday morning in January. The night before, you romped with your brother and sister and tried, like you always did, to dig a hole in the ice. Then just you and I went out to meet mommy at the bus stop and you were a puppy again in how excited you were to see her. You were wearing the doggy shirt your mommy got you for Christmas with that silly picture of me on it, and I was wearing the silly shirt mommy got for me two years ago with your smiling face on it. Off Leash and Rompin' Hard it says.

I remember the day your mommy got you for me. Mommy had asked me to come over after work and I thought you were an inquisitive cat from a distance. When I realized saw you weren't a cat, and instead the best dog ever, I thought 'that's awesome, Nina got a puppy.' When she told me you were for me, I dropped to my knees and gave you the biggest kiss and I never stopped smiling for the rest of your life.

We spent a special year together in that apartment near Maple Leaf Gardens, just you and me. We watched Star Trek together all the time. You destroyed that ugly blue couch — I remember coming home from work and the parquet floor all over our place was obscured by polyester fluff, like you evenly distributed it all. You looked at me like, 'what? you were gone.' I remember those days waking up to you gnawing on my hand-made side tables in bed — you always slept at the head of the bed. I loved every second.

Soon enough mommy and Calvin were around a lot more and then we all moved in together in that apartment on Cosburn. You had to move to the bottom of the bed, I'm not sure if you ever forgave mommy for that. Every party we had always ended the same, with a few drunk people congregated around you, wide awake and getting pets. You always stayed with us to the end, even when you cut your paw while we walked to the wine store and it wouldn't stop bleeding. Emma picked you up half-way through the party when the VEC said you could come home and even though you were dazed on the drugs, you still stayed up with us, never wanting it to end.

And you had so many friends. Emma and my dad were particular favourites: You howled in grief when my dad didn't spend adequate time here during visits and you whined with glee whenever Emma came over. We've said goodbye to many doggy friends, too: Chelsea, Buster, Rizla and Hunter all left us too early. Even your dog-park friends: Nigel who kept giving you Giardia over and over again and Trapper who taught you how to be noble. No one compared to Calvin though, he taught you everything about loyalty. After he left and didn't come back you slept in his bed for a week.

You stuck with us through your annoying new siblings Sailor and Sophie. At our wedding you gave mommy and I a look that said 'there are too many people here!' We'll never forget that, it proved you were a discerning dog. And you protected your baby cousin Lucy from the crowds all night.

You were strong, too. After your tummy surgery, I visited you every day and cried with an indescribable happiness when you finally started eating again. You stayed with us for two more years after that and we cherished every second.

Then, cancer. Your limp only got worse and the news hit us like a truck. I didn't sleep that night and had a job interview the next morning. I credit you with getting me through it because I wasn't nervous: You were all that mattered. A few weeks later, you stopped eating anything but steak and you whined when you couldn't get up. You were sad and hurting and we didn't want you to be sad any more. On March 6, we watched Star Trek together and ate steak. On March 7 your big heart beat its last time and we wailed in agony as if something was being torn from our bodies. But, later we started looking over all our old photos and we saw how happy you were for those 4155 days.

We will miss you, Navy, always and forever.

Love,

Daddy