Little Ladi,

10/13/25 was the worst days of my life!! My little, my tri-pawed porkie that I love with my whole entire heart and soul, I miss you more then words could ever say!! I carried you in my handbag for the first 2 yrs of your life and took you everywhere even after you got to big for mybags.. Whenever anyone saw me, they saw you and if you weren't with me, they'd ask for you... I now carry your ashes with me and it's obviously not the same.... That decision I had to make after a 3 night stay at MLAH shocked me!! 20 minutes before getting the second call that things turned around, I was on with Dr. Janson with plans to bring you home the next day... I ran to you, I swore they called the wrong person.. You looked great, you were talking to me from inside the oxygen chamber, pawling at the doors as soon as you saw me... You looked tired and like a hospital patient the day before, I told you to go if need be and it broke me ...24 hours later you were you again!! Or so I thought... Standing in front of you with my arm ALL the way inside one of the little doors, you on my arm wanting to be picked up, I couldn't, you needed the oxygen, but was satisfied with how I was able to "hold" you, talking to the Dr. then for the 3rd time (& only w/ me around) your head and eyes rolled, I ran so the team could pull your limp body out, I heard that terrible scream that was heard 2 1/2 years before when you were pulled under nannys fence by the neighboring dog, the day I rushed you to MLAH for the first time, they had to remove your front left leg and shoulder, that scream was you fighting cardiac arrest to stay with mama, that scream and your weight in my arms the 2 times before the last time in your oxygen chamber I WILL NEVER FORGET & ITS THE WORST MEMORY EVER!! Doc found me in her office, the only place I had to run into to tell me it's time to make that decision and she knew I NEEDED TO BE THERE IN YOUR FACE IF IT CAME TO WHAT IT CAME TO... I walked out to you, you looked at me like you always did, such love, like I was the only person in the world, panting per-usual, looking at that point like you knew it was time to meet Ernie, your fur-cat-brother, at the Rainbow Bridge... I saw the sadness in your eyes just enough, it was that little bit you couldn't hide from me, I kissed your face and looked into your eyes telling you thru a broken, shattered heart & countless tears THANK YOU, TY FOR BEING MY BEST LITTLE FOR ALMOST 12 YEARS and how much daddy loves u, Max (ur human brother) loves you, nanny, Titi Rachel, Uncle (baby) Todd loves you and Bailey your literal litter sister (nannys fur-baby) loves you.. I screamed it as Dr. Janson started to plunge the first needle and didn't stop until after the second needle and conformation that your heart no longer beat on this side of heaven...

Missing you,

Elisa *mama*