Writing Letters

Letter writing, even when there's no way to mail it to the loved one we're addressing, serves as an outlet, a means of expression. It can be a form of catharsis, a way to achieve closure. I’ve known people who have attested to the effectiveness of this kind of exercise, but I’d never done it myself until I suffered the loss of Pushkin. Writing letters to Pushkin provided me with a new way to spend some time with him; moreover, it was an opportunity to acknowledge and sort through the myriad thoughts and emotions that surfaced during my initial grieving process.

Whatever your age or your usual inclination towards writing, a simple letter to your loved one might be something that helps you, too.

It may seem an impossible to task to write a brief letter that says it all (remember, I wrote 47 of them!), but here are a few questions to consider:

• What kinds of emotions are you feeling now?
• What is your most joyful memory of your deceased loved one/companion animal?
• What little quirk or habit do you miss most about him/her?
• What was one important lesson you learned from him/her that made you a better person?

suggestion: I found it useful to stay focused on the idea that I was writing to my loved one, which makes this different from writing a personal journal entry. In doing so, I was motivated to write about my emotions honestly without dwelling on sad or depressing thoughts for the entire letter.